IM EXPERIENCING LIFE AND DEATH ON MY FRONT PORCH

DONT EVER COME AT ME WITH THAT “I DONT LIKE SUBWAY” BS

 BRUH YOU MADE THE SANDWICH

VOTE FOR JAGMEET SINGH

 HE GONNA JAG HIS MEET AND THEN  SINGH

AMENDS HAVE BEEN MADE WITH GERMY COCK

I GOT ONE WORD FOR YOU HOMIE

 DUST

THE OPTIMISTIC BLUNT: A TALE OF OPTIMISM, BLUNTS, AND FAT JACK

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY THE RAWDAWG: ORIGINAL COPY ON THE CARTESIAN PLANE.

DISCLAIMER: ALL SIMILARITIES TO PERSONS OR EVENTS ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAl

(dotted line not included)

-HUMBLE BEGINNINGS-

It was a warm and sunny friday and we purchased a blunt to enjoy with the weather. And you know I ain't a bitch so we sparked tf up. Man that blunt had us optimistic. But what was said at optimist park with the optimistic blunt?

-FLASHBACK-

Oh shit get down it's the popo hide the blunt. Nah man I ain't gotta hide it. Bruh what that was a big ass blunt. Man this ain't a blunt no more. Officer this just a lil' doobie-doo, scooby-doobie-doo on this doobie-doo. Nah officer that was a big ass blunt and I'm faded as FUUUCKKK!! Man we gotta walk but the sun is too nice. Nice? Ice is nice cuz I ain't got lice, I just got the spice. Bitch I'm cookin' rice, now Imma slice the chicken and spice up the marinade. Aww yeah now we cookin' but what's good lookin' with the cookin'.

-SERIOUS BUSINESS-

Holy crap now I'm on the other side of the page. How the fuck, I think I followed the dotted line, yeah that one in the corner. Bottom right at the point (50, -20). Yeah this the quadratic formula:

Nah this ain't no secret formula, Plankton you ain't gotta steal it you can just read it yeah.

-PLANKTON REVEALED-

Nah man fuck you Imma steal that shit anyways yo. 

Wait why is Plankton punctuating his sentence with"yo"? He secretly Fat Jack.

Wassup bitch it's me Fat Jack and I just raped my fucking rabbit yeah and he's fat as hell yo.

What the hell Fat Jack I can't believe you did that and this really happened in real life.

-RETURN TO OPTIMIST PARK-

What the hell we back at optimist park. Yo corey you optimistic?

Hell yeah man you know I'm baked as hell bro.

Man we optimistic as hell. Lets smoke another blunt.

THE END.

I HAVE BROKEN THE PHARAOHS CURSE

 

POEM OF THE CONDOM

O' frozen condom,

Were you on the top?

Were you on the bottom?

Did you pop,

Ever so carelessly,

In your act of sodomy?

OFFICER THIS AINT A BLUNT THIS JUST A LIL DOOBIE DOO

THE DAY I WAS BORN THE EARTH BECAME LUSH AND GREEN

DONT BE MEOWING LIKE A PUSSYCAT WHEN YOU TALKIN TO THE LIONS

HOW DO U NOT KNOW THE RESTAURANT MADRATSHIT???

 

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU IN SCHOOL??

WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT PUSSAYYYYYYY

THEY INVENTED SELF CHECKOUT SO YOU PEOPLE CAN BUY AN ANAL DOUCHE

LETS TALK BUSINESS

 

YO SOY DOCTOR RAW

 

WHEN THE ONIONS IN THE CRIB MA

PEEL IT LIKE ITS RAW 

PEEL IT LIKE ITS RAW 

PEEL IT LIKE ITS RAW

U A STOKER OR A STONER I ONLY FW STONER

STOKER DEF:U ONLY BE ON THE PEN, NOT SOME REAL SHIT (like the rawdawg)

SIX O CLOCK TWELVE O CLOCK MAN JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS

 SHE KEPT ON MOVIN

SMOKE WARS: RETURN OF THE JIGARETTE

 

ELON SUS

 

BREAKING NEWS: ONION GUARDIAN ANGEL CLAIMS TEN CENT REWARD - NO OVERTIME

 

DDXP GAIN EXPÉRIENCE WHEN U SQUEEZE THE DOUBLE DEEZ

KFC ZINGER SANDIWCH GOT MY ZING ZINGING

 WAITING IN BED 4 ME N EVERYTHING

Bongzilla boutta fuck that dreadhead(Corey Gay)