Thursday, March 27, 2025

THE OPTIMISTIC BLUNT: A TALE OF OPTIMISM, BLUNTS, AND FAT JACK

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY THE RAWDAWG: ORIGINAL COPY ON THE CARTESIAN PLANE.

DISCLAIMER: ALL SIMILARITIES TO PERSONS OR EVENTS ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAl

(dotted line not included)

-HUMBLE BEGINNINGS-

It was a warm and sunny friday and we purchased a blunt to enjoy with the weather. And you know I ain't a bitch so we sparked tf up. Man that blunt had us optimistic. But what was said at optimist park with the optimistic blunt?

-FLASHBACK-

Oh shit get down it's the popo hide the blunt. Nah man I ain't gotta hide it. Bruh what that was a big ass blunt. Man this ain't a blunt no more. Officer this just a lil' doobie-doo, scooby-doobie-doo on this doobie-doo. Nah officer that was a big ass blunt and I'm faded as FUUUCKKK!! Man we gotta walk but the sun is too nice. Nice? Ice is nice cuz I ain't got lice, I just got the spice. Bitch I'm cookin' rice, now Imma slice the chicken and spice up the marinade. Aww yeah now we cookin' but what's good lookin' with the cookin'.

-SERIOUS BUSINESS-

Holy crap now I'm on the other side of the page. How the fuck, I think I followed the dotted line, yeah that one in the corner. Bottom right at the point (50, -20). Yeah this the quadratic formula:

Nah this ain't no secret formula, Plankton you ain't gotta steal it you can just read it yeah.

-PLANKTON REVEALED-

Nah man fuck you Imma steal that shit anyways yo. 
Wait why is Plankton punctuating his sentence with"yo"? He secretly Fat Jack.
Wassup bitch it's me Fat Jack and I just raped my fucking rabbit yeah and he's fat as hell yo.
What the hell Fat Jack I can't believe you did that and this really happened in real life.

-RETURN TO OPTIMIST PARK-

What the hell we back at optimist park. Yo corey you optimistic?
Hell yeah man you know I'm baked as hell bro.
Man we optimistic as hell. Lets smoke another blunt.

THE END.

Sunday, March 23, 2025

POEM OF THE CONDOM


O' frozen condom,
Were you on the top?
Were you on the bottom?
Did you pop,
Ever so carelessly,
In your act of sodomy?